Leading From Within:an Integral Coaching® Project in Nigeria

No Gifts Left Ungiven

2009-12-27T13:59:00.000-08:00

We’re finished, and I am so happy with the results! Having completed all of the coaching sessions, I feel very confident that our hard work was totally worth it.

Out of 31 participants, all but two of them made it for their Offer meeting, where they each received their personal coaching program to guide their growth over the next six months. These meetings were incredible! They are the heart of everything we worked on. It’s difficult to convey the power of how well they were received by the participants.

The purpose of this meeting is for the participant to have an opportunity to see him or herself in a completely new way within his or her chosen leadership goal. When James offers their current way metaphor, for the first time they are able to clearly see how they are showing up. At this point many of the participants exclaimed something like “I feel like you are seeing me from inside me!” They are able to see the gifts of their current way of being, including the fact that who they are, with all that they have accomplished, has gotten them to a very progressive place of leadership in Nigeria. They are also able to see how their current way is limiting them in moving forward in the way they wish to. They get to see themselves often more clearly than ever before, and coming from an unbiased coaching perspective allows them to see their way of being for what it is, not good or bad. They see that as they move forward, these positive qualities of the current way are transcended and included. As one man exclaimed, “I see that I don’t have to abandon the good qualities of my Current Way, I can use them as a springboard to achieve new things, and facilitate growth to my New Way.”

Because the process is very collaborative, it allows James to continuously check with the participant to make sure that what he’s offering truly fits her life and her experience, which also helps to solidify the participant’s understanding so that when she is on her own she is able to continue getting to see and know her Current Way(CW) in action. By seeing it in action in her life, it then starts to become object – more objective in how she knows it – which enables to her to make other choices and shift into a New Way.

The New Way metaphor image gives the participant insight into an expanded view in her goal. It includes the strengths of the CW, and goes beyond it by building the new qualities necessary for her to become successful. James worked with each person to make sure these metaphors fit, both in terms of where they desire to grow, and in terms of the cultural differences with the images. Nearly all of metaphors he chose were culturally relevant, and he was able to work the differences in quite easily. For example, one difference was that in Nigeria, Ducks are sometimes considered house pets, and the woman who was given this metaphor pointed out that they quack when they are not treated well. This went along perfectly with this woman’s New Way, which includes setting boundaries for herself and using her voice when others don’t treat her well. Some of the metaphors James had to explain more than he would at home, simply because people didn’t have experience with certain things, though they had heard of them or seen pictures. For example, although Calabar is on the ocean, Sailboat Captain and School of Fish required a bit of explanation. This was not a problem though, as the participants quickly understood the meaning of the metaphor even if they hadn’t had direct experience of these things. They were often quite inspired to see the possibility of the New Way, and were very ready to hear what they needed to do in order to get there. This lead into the practices, which was a major chunk of the offer meetings. James had prepared five practices for each person, which will guide them through their programs all the way until June. The practices are designed to fit into their life in a sustainable way, and they are quite fun and out of the ordinary. They are different for each person, targeting their unique way in their goal. It was entertaining to hear this portion, watching how open minded they were about being asked to do things quite out of the norm. Generally people expressed a lot of enthusiasm and commitment for sticking to these practices, seeing how they would really benefit from doing them. They’ll also be supported by the next two Leading From Within retreats, their learning communities, and by Patricia, who understands the coaching process and will be available for mentoring. I am glad to see how much support they’ll have available for the sustainability of the coaching work, since James and I won’t be there.

I most loved seeing how much the group is already supporting one another in their coaching work, as well as some humorous comradely developing. For example, when James did his second presentation for the group, as he was explaining the meaning of the Current Way, one woman came into the presentation late and someone yelled out “That’s her Current Way!” One day, about half way through the week of offers, there were about five participants in the office. Two had already received their programs, and when I walked out to greet someone, I heard those two explaining to the others how beneficial it is to get the metaphors, and how important the practices are. I heard one say to the other “I’m going to be the Duck and express what’s inside me to you!” and the other responded, “I’m developing presence, which means I’m going to stay stable through intense energy.” He then proceeded to show the others his Foundation Practice – a Chi Generation pose. Another man walked in and told me he’d already started his Foundation Practice, and demonstrated it for me and the others. As the week went on and participants stopped in to the office to say hello, many reported that they have been doing their practices and can already see the benefits. I loved seeing that they are taking it seriously, with some added enjoyment and humor. Many laughed about the new things James has them doing in their programs, yet there is an earnestness in their dedication to doing the work. They expressed so much gratitude, and I feel quite hopeful that they will stick to it.

After receiving his offer, one man said, “This is so wonderful! I see a vacuum in leadership in Nigeria, and I see myself there. The leaders here need a coach – they need to take time to connect to themselves and the environment they are serving. If this is going to be a democracy, leaders need to get out and connect to the people they are presiding over. I really appreciate coming to know you. Your coaching will make us stronger. I am so happy and I appreciate you coming all this long way, taking your time to help us bring out about the needed change to Nigeria.” I am so inspired by how many of these leaders mentioned the ripple effects of this coaching work. One said to us, “know that when I go out to do great things, I am taking you with me in my heart – so we are connected, even though Canada is a long way away from Nigeria, know that your brother is here and you are with him.”

Personally, I've learned something really important from James, beyond the coaching work itself. When I've chatted on Skype with James in the past I noticed that his icon says, “No gifts left ungiven.” I've been curious about what that means to him, and this past month I really found out. There were moments when it was 11 pm and we were still working, where I wanted to find a shortcut, to find some way to make it easier. Yet, this never even seemed to be an option in James' mind. He put his whole heart into every single program for every individual, not stopping until he had found them the most fitting metaphors and the right practices to meet and serve them the most. In the coaching meetings he was fully there with the 27th person as much as the 5th. As we got more experience with the challenges people encounter in making it to the office for their meetings, James did everything he possibly could to make sure everyone could meet with him to receive their coaching program – moving things around, and working up until the evening of our last night here! I admit there was a part of me that was incredulous about actually getting everyone in and everything done, but I see now that it was because of the way he held this whole thing – that he would give everything he could to every one of the participants – that this is what came to pass. Although I am a bit sad about how much time we spent in the office, we didn't come for a tourist trip – the purpose was clear and that was fulfilled. That makes me happy in a different way.

At the same time, our health was always top priority and we took good care of ourselves. Giving as much as possible always has to include ourselves. Looking back on the month I don't know what I would have done without yoga, meditation, and my I-pod filled with songs to move me along.

While for me this isn't generally a sustainable way of working, I feel ready to leave, yet not exhausted or burnt out. I feel deeply inspired to take what I have learned and offer it to coaching clients at home, and to hold in my heart the beautiful growth that is happening here in Nigeria. Given an opportunity to spend one month offering the most possible to a group of people who are so eager to receive, I am proud to say that we leave Nigeria with no gifts left ungiven.

Long Hard Work

2009-12-17T09:42:00.001-08:00

With the exception of a beautiful weekend visit to a small village, it seems like James and I have rarely left the coaching office in weeks. Last time James went out I heard the guard exclaim, “James, you’re outside!” It turns out that creating 31 Integral Coaching programs in 10 days is quite the feat.

While we had hoped there would be some way to streamline the process with so many people, the nature of the programs is so individualized that the large quantity didn’t reduce the amount of work, and in fact has made for new challenges in terms of organization. We’ve certainly learned a lot about the lack of infrastructure here – for example, with occasional electricity and all of our assessments stored on one computer and a flash drive, we’ve been maneuvering data back and forth, spending a significant amount of time with snaking tangles of cords, invertors, generators, and headlamps. Things just take longer here, and the amount of work we’ve been doing is extremely substantial, even if we were in pristine working conditions.

Yet, we were well aware and prepared for this, and given that it’s the first time doing anything like this, we are not discouraged, rather are discussing how it could work better in the future. What truly matters is that we are able to impart on these leaders all that James can offer through the Integral Coaching method, and so we have been working very hard to create powerful and sustainable programs for them.

After completing all of the intake meetings, we’ve had 8 days to work through each individual’s AQAL assessment and create a coaching program that will help them to expand their leadership to the next level. James realized that in order for the results of this endeavor to truly show what was accomplished here, he had to record a significant amount of data about each individual. So even though there are clear themes in the participants’ development, he has needed to be very thorough in his description of each person in order for this information to be useful to others.

James first distilled each person’s goal into one concrete statement, which he then creates his or her program around. These are different for each person, based upon their next desired steps in their own leadership path. Examples include, “to become more able to express the voice of my vision more clearly to others.” And “to increase my personal power, such that I can respectively mobilize others.”

The next few days were dedicated to the assessment, and then came the fun part – metaphors! A key component of the Integral Coaching method is to offer the participant two metaphorical images. One represents the qualities of their current way of being in their goal, which helps them begin to see it and work with it. The second metaphor includes the new qualities they will need to build in order to become successful in what they want to achieve. Each one is unique for the person.

Before coming here I read literature and guide books about Nigeria, writing down culturally relevant metaphors that we could use. While this was a fun process, it turns out that it was easier to do this in real time, thinking of the most appropriate metaphor and considering if it will be culturally appropriate. For the most part this hasn’t been a huge limitation – while there are some things that don’t exist here, we’ve been able to find a decent equivalent – for example, using an Iroko Tree instead of an Oak Tree. After creating all the metaphors, we ran them by the local manager, Patricia, to make sure there weren’t any that would be inappropriate. One interesting difference was that she said definitely not to use the metaphor of an Investment Banker. She said this would be viewed very negatively as people think of them as frauds here. We’ve been lucky to have her help with the nuances of the metaphors, choosing animals that live here, instruments people have heard of, etc.

During the middle of the metaphor process, Mike, Gail, and Lisa convinced us to come away for a weekend to a village several hours northeast of Calabar. While we knew we didn’t really have time for this, it felt very important that we get out and meet people and see the land. I am so grateful that we did! If I have time I’ll describe the trip in a future blog, but for now I’ll just say that it was a hugely inspiring experience to actually meet the people whose lives are being impacted by the Leading From Within participants. I came back with renewed energy for the long hours, as well as a significant number of bug bites. Ever-dedicated James continued on with the metaphor process in the car, with his laptop out in the backseat for much of the 6 hour drive each way.

With all the offer meetings coming back to back, we’re in serious time crunch mode, and the question continues to be - will we make it in time?

Church on Sunday

2009-12-17T08:54:00.000-08:00

Having heard some threatening stories I had a few trepidations as I walked down a empty hall in the Lagos airport to use the bathroom, but when I found the door I heard a woman inside signing a beautiful Christian praise song, and I immediately relaxed. Since arriving I’ve been surprised by how thoroughly life revolves around the Christian faith in this part of Nigeria. Most of the advertizing in Calabar reflects this, with names like “Divine Life Barber“ and “Good Faith Technology.” As I’ve observed the coaching conversations, nearly all of the participants have spoken about their vision and decision making as leaders being guided by God’s word. At the same time there seems to be a relative tolerance of other religions; one participant of the group is Muslim, and was given a turn to speak the opening prayer one morning last week. The northern part of Nigeria is mostly Muslim, yet these differences don't appear to be a major dividing factor here.

The weeks here revolve around church on Sunday, where everyone gets decked out in their finest and flashiest attire, for an extravagant and lengthy service. Last week the One Sky team got dressed up in our best, (which in no way compared to the beautiful Nigerian wears) and hopped in our truck to experience the service at the City of Testimonies. A Nigerian friend met us there, and we were ushered into our seats, directly behind the Preacher, who sits next to his wife in a throne-like chair. The church is a huge outdoor amphitheater, with a center stage where the preacher and other speakers stand, their crackly microphone voices towering out over the audience. It was interesting to notice the hierarchical power and influence of the leaders of the church as well as the wealthy people who donate the most money. Members of the church approached, kissing their feet for blessings. The Preacher had a rock star quality to him, and the whole thing was quite a production! The brightly dressed choir sang beautifully, parading around the church in lines, dancing and singing. The visiting Pastors from other cities and countries were given three minutes to impress the audience with as much gusto and intensity as possible. Then came the main sermon on The Way, which was extremely energetic, especially considering the intensity of the hot sun and the Preacher’s black suit.

I myself found out about the burning sun around the stage when the Pastor called everyone into the center, bellowing “the first 200 people down to the stage …!!!” My new Nigerian friend took my hand and led me down into the center, where everyone gathered in a huge crowd, cheering, praying, and being forgiven for sins. I didn’t really know what I’d gotten myself into by going down with her, but stood among the crowd of Nigerians open to the experience. As he spoke I thought of my Grandmother who passed away recently. She was a very religious woman and a Minister’s wife, and so I connected to the memory of her, and felt happy that she probably would have loved seeing me there.

Next the Pastor asked told us to raise our hands if it was our first time at the church, and then I became a bit worried that I would get called onto stage. He chose individuals to come up, and he would lay his hand on their head, and forcefully push them down to the ground, blessing them with the Holy Spirit. There are so many ways to look at this! On the positive side, I’m sure the people who received this did experience a transmission of some state experience, and it is quite beautiful how open the believers are to surrender. Personally I avoided eye contact with him, and luckily I was not called up. However I was starting to feel my skin burning in the hot sun, my sensitivity to sun increased by doxycilin, the malaria pills. He asked those of us who were new to join with someone from the church who would tell us about the services there, and the joy of God. The woman I came down with spoke to me earnestly with so much love, that the night before she had dreamed of meeting two new friends and she now knew it was James and I she had dreamed of. She held my hands and told me that I would see a change in my life, and told me about her love of the church. I was very happy to connect with her.

The four-hour service ended soon thereafter, and we filed out, greeting a few Leading From Within participants and friends along the way. It was quite the experience, and very good to see into and understand the participants’ worldview better. There are many ways to interpret all of this, but for the time being I was simply happy to feel more connected to the culture here.

It is interesting to see how James is incorporating the participants’ spiritual beliefs into the coaching program design. I’ve been noticing his targeted use of language and imagery to connect with them in this way. For example, in one of the intake meets, James was speaking to a leader who has a strong vision but has difficulty asserting his passion into the group, for fear of having people go against him or not like what he’s doing. James pointed out that many people did not like or understand Jesus’ words, yet his love was true and people have received this gift all over the world.

Nigerian Visionaries

2009-12-10T15:16:00.000-08:00

Coaching in Nigeria is fascinating! I’ve had a front row seat to some really breathtaking developments!

Consider the huge challenges this country faces - widespread corruption, poverty, AIDS, deforestation, the list goes on. It is the world's 5th largest oil producer, yet sometimes the citizens wait in line for days to buy gas. It is the most populous country in Africa, and I have read that it is often considered the tipping point for the entire continent - that if healthy leadership can develop here, it will take the continent up with it, and sadly the reverse is true as well.

Given this situation, it is stunning to be in the position to meet the very leaders who are in the position to create this change. And it's truly and honor to hear what goes on inside of them, what their passions and fears are - and to see that they are much like mine. The beauty of working with the Integral model is that it allows for the uniqueness of every person to be honored, and at the same time there are some important and useful themes that we are noticing. This information can help us and others doing similar work to more fully understand how to meet people where they are, and to provide the most effective guidance - rather than just assuming we have the answers.

In our intake meetings we have heard each leader describe his or her vision, as well as the challenges they are facing within themselves. They are chiefs, future senators, journalists, NGO directors, and other visionaries. In a culture that is largely at an ethnocentric worldview, many of these individuals are struggling in various ways to assert themselves and their visions into the group. At this worldview, individuals look to the authority of their group for rules that are considered black and white. It is oriented towards the collective, where a successful path is determined by the group's hierarchy. Work is done and decisions made on behalf of the group – which is a very important developmental step from egocentric, wherein things are done only on behalf of oneself.

All people and all cultures go through these steps, and as such it is very important that we are able to support this happening in a healthy way here, and not to impose our value systems. For example, rather than trying to get a chief to believe that all people are equal, we can support him in his own desire to see things from other people's perspectives. The gifts of this worldview are very important, such as dedication, loyalty, faith, and surrender to something greater.

And at the same time, it poses some interesting opportunities for development for leaders seeking to be at the emerging edge. In a culture so focused on the group, what happens if I have a vision other people don't understand, or don't like? What if I am too educated, too bold, too different from what people are used to? Many participants have shown up for their intake meetings with goals around communication, planning, or confidence. As James digs into what is limiting them from being the way they want to be, many of them are facing a challenge in bringing themselves forward as an individual into the group. This shows up in different ways. Some have expressed a fear of being seen as intimidating or too powerful. Others have explained that if they change too much, others may see them as a threat and try to cut them down. This is very different than in North America, where we usually feel that striving to be a strong individual is the way to go.

What I love about Integral is that we can include all of this, and target each person’s growth. While some participants are working to develop at healthy ethnocentric, others will have programs that will support them in moving towards a more world-centric view. It is very important to both honor and include the gifts of each worldview as someone grows; the loyalty and dedication of ethnocentric doesn’t go away, rather it is included and then transcended into something more encompassing.

For example, one participant has invested so much time and energy into her group that she is now realizing she barely knows herself. While she was quick to be hard on herself for this, James pointed out that this isn’t a weak point, it’s an opportunity to take her leadership to a new level by investing in herself. She realized she could remain with her passion, acting on behalf of the impoverished women she serves, while also bringing herself as the visionary.

The song we played in the opening presentation has proved very useful for making this point, as the lyrics go from “May I be strong, May I be wise” to “May we be strong, May we all be wise.” In this way, James is illustrating that through strengthening themselves as individuals, they can actually bring this back to their groups; that a stronger ‘I’ contributes to a stronger ‘we.” This song seemed to really touch people, so it’s great to see it woven into the coaching meetings.

Now comes the very labor-intensive process of making their coaching programs. I can’t wait to see how they like them!

Differences in Communication and Coaching by Candle Light

2009-12-04T12:33:00.000-08:00

We’ve occasionally heard heartened cheering and clapping from the main retreat room as the participants are giving speeches on their visions, and learning from the masters – Martin Luther King Jr. and Barack Obama. As our participants work towards their truly inspiring visions, public speaking and communication are goals many have chosen for their coaching work.

Many of these leaders are seeking greater confidence and courage in speaking to a wide variety of audiences. Communication is a fascinating topic, especially in a place with hundreds of local dialects! One thing we have found is that it’s important to find out if a participant’s communication challenges are the same in their native language. Often they may have a different level of capacity when speaking their first language to the members of their village, versus when public speaking in English, which is often their third language. In addition to language difference, some are finding themselves speaking to audiences with higher levels of education than they are used to. Or it may be the reverse – that they themselves have become more educated and now want to learn how to go back and effectively communicate to their own village where people now see them differently. (There seems to be frequent concern about how one will be perceived as he or she grows and “steps out” – that people may not be comfortable with this for various reasons, namely that the worldview is generally at an ethnocentric level, and this may be seen as threatening to that structure.) There also may be concern about how to approach the “Big Men” – those high in Nigerian hierarchy, whether in government, business, or any sector. This is an especially interesting topic because there is such frequent corruption that when communicating as an ethical leader it’s very important to be able to stand one’s ground. And an especially inspiring topic for me - one leader in women’s rights wants to become more effective in respectfully negotiating conflict with men!

While taking all these factors into account, growth and change occurs in how the person is relating to their specific goals around communication. As he connects to them through the intake and AQAL assessment, James is discovering how each person’s way of being is showing up in how they relate to speaking with others and how they find confidence in themselves, such that he can find the next moves for that individual to grow in the way they desire. He can find out what lies underneath his or her lack of confidence, which is different for each person. It may be that someone is needing to develop greater discernment in planning for and presenting information, or it may be that they are needing to become more comfortable with voicing their passion. Through the intake meetings he is gaining a full picture of each person’s unique way, so that he can find the leverage points to design a program that will target their growth.

I am quite happy to see how the Integral method holds the same ground in this very different context – that we can take these cultural differences into account, and still be able to connect to someone’s way of seeing within that, which seems to allow for just as much intimacy and effectiveness as it does at home!

The biggest difference is that at home we are not accustomed to coaching by candlelight or LED lantern! Each night our last coaching meeting is done in the dark – unless we are lucky enough to have NEPA (the power company) come on during the meeting. We start our 5:30 pm session in dim afternoon light, and by 6 pm I get up to light the candles and turn on the lantern. It is quite amusing to watch James and the participants’ shadowy faces, lit up by a neon LED sheen on one side and warm candle light on the other. Yet the show goes on, and nobody seems phased at all.

Below is our lovely little office where we're spending our days - imagine us here by candlelight!

33 Intakes in 8 Days - Heat and Intensity

2009-12-03T16:18:00.000-08:00

Wow, ten-hour days in this heat is intense! We’re deep into the intake meetings, and I am feeling both inspired and tired.

I feel very lucky to witness the heartfelt commitment and the individual stories of each participant. Each person comes to this leadership training with such unique vision and passion for change in their country, which is facing massive challenges. While I am not out seeing the country in a traditional way, I am getting an intimate feel for the lives of the people here.

I am present for each meeting, holding space, doing my best to connect my breath and heart with each person, and keep myself energized and aware of what’s going on all around us so I can attend to anything that might cause distraction.

As we are moving through one after another session, I am awed by James’ dedication to truly serve each person. He is fully present in his whole being, openly listening and tracking each person’s unique way of being in the world, offering clarity that allows each person to see his or herself in a new light. Usually our way of being and seeing in our world is invisible to us, which is why it can be so hard to make the changes we yearn for. So when our way is clearly and compassionately pointed out to us, it can be quite a powerful insight! This isn’t just a new idea for someone – it’s a real acceptance of where they are at, an expanded view on what they are growing into, and clear direction how to get there. It’s quite touching to watch this happen, as participants are often visibly moved, and there is a visceral sense of relaxation or greater energy in them and in the room. At times I have felt like I’m watching a soccer game, on edge for that moment to arise!

In order to sit with five people each day for an hour and half in dripping wet heat, it is necessary for us to take good care of ourselves. We are continuing to practice yoga and meditation each morning, getting enough sleep, and eating good food prepared by a woman named Blessing, a very appropriate name for her! After the last session each night, we gather for dinner with the rest of the One Sky team, where we always end up in some interesting philosophical conversation. For example, on the implications of the work we’re doing here as North Americans, given the historical and present day power dynamics, and how we can stay as conscious as possible of this, while knowing there is no way we can truly ever see the whole picture.

As all this is going on, I’m also strongly pulled to just keep FEELING. And there is so much to feel! On some level there is more to feel than I could ever even try to comprehend or put words to. There have already been a few times where I have just needed to go to my room on a break, totally blasted open or contracted closed by the immensity of it all … the shared humanity in these beautiful individual’s lives, the scope of what is so different that I cannot see or know, the undercurrents of suffering and joy, and then just my small and limited way of trying to make sense of it all. Honestly, I could easily get lost in feeling all this. Yet it keeps coming, I make a conscious choice to do my best to stay open and remain with my priority, which is the work we are doing.

Hopefully, the water will be turned on tonight so we can shower and rinse off this humid sweat. And if I’m lucky, the people across the street who play loud Nigerian dance music until the late hours, will either go to bed early tonight, or play something that will at least give me entertaining dreams. We have another full day tomorrow!

Meeting the Emerging Leaders!

2009-11-27T12:31:00.000-08:00

Today was the start of the fourth Leading From Within retreat began, and James and I were warmly welcomed to the group, thirty Nigerian leaders from various NGOs and social change organizations across Cross River State. After we introduced ourselves, James engaged the group in a lively presentation and discussion. This was the first explanation of Integral Coaching within Nigeria and the people appeared totally engrossed. The participants were engaged, interested, and keen to start their sessions. The questions they posed demonstrated a significant grasp of Integral in both theory and application; kudos to the impact the previous Leading From Within workshops have provided. I was inspired by the solidity and openness James communicated with, and he is very happy with his presentation, having discovering a lot about the nuances and assumptions of language and culture that he was unaware of.

The group participation was incredible! They are so involved in their learning, and truly dig into any questions they have until they are fully satisfied. It was a pleasure to see how much more learning comes from their willingness to ask questions, define terms, and really make things their own – not just accept them. For example, James described Integral Coaching as including “mind, body, heart, and spirit.” Clear enough, from our perspective, yet what followed was an in-depth discussion on the cultural differences of these terms – for example, here in Nigeria “heart” often literally means the organ, and when asked where their feelings reside they say their mind, and touch their chest. We went on to define the difference between “mind” as a composite of the individual, whereas “spirit” is everywhere. The key point is that, as in any Integral Coaching relationship, James will be working to fully understand what the meaning of any term has for each individual, since we all hold these definitions differently.

After the presentation James began with the first two coaching meetings, which both went quite smoothly. Part of my role is to track the cultural and language differences so that we can improve upon how Integral Coaching can be implemented within international development. There will be a varying degree of English skill in this group, but so far I am pleasantly surprised by the ease with which James and each participant were able to connect and communicate. Based on what I saw today, I am thrilled by how Integral allows for greater shared understanding and deeper intimacy even though our life circumstances are so different. Having met everyone, I am feeling very honored to be given an opportunity to get a glimpse into each person's life over the next few weeks. We'll spend an hour and a half with each one of them over the next week, gaining a full picture of what it is they desire to grow in themselves in order to become better leaders.
I enjoyed hearing a recap of the day from the perspective of one of the participants, which was read aloud later to the group. He said:“On returning, the project coordinator introduced the much awaited Integral Coach Mr. James Baye, who started his session with a soul touching music and its write up to prepare the participants for a life changing training and experience. Without much ado the coach Mr. Baye introduced the Integral Coaching, it's benefits, how it operates and what can be expected at the end of the course. This got participants thinking and asking questions which helped expose the basic details of Integral Coaching. The coach at the end of his session asked each participants to write a letter to themselves after which came the lunch break.”

What a great start! Tomorrow we have a full day with five participants, let's see if we'll be able to handle ten hours of coaching and a full day of Nigerian heat.

Planning, Preparing and Excitement

2009-11-22T17:31:00.000-08:00

Today we have been busy preparing for the upcoming week. The leadership retreat begins tomorrow, and James will begin in the morning by giving a presentation to the group, explaining what Integral Coaching is, how it will benefit them in the Leading From Within training, and how it is unique from other types of coaching. This is the first time ever that Integral Coaching has been brought to this kind of context, so he is making sure to be aware of using language that allows the participants to understand the terms, phrases, and concepts in a way that is inspiring and not overwhelming.

As we plan the schedule, there is a lot to take into account, as many participants are traveling significant distances, some from more remote villages, needing to find childcare, etc. This is a pretty tight schedule in order to get one and half hour sessions with each person this week, then have one week to create their Integral Coaching programs, and then use the remaining week to deliver these programs to each person. This means we'll be meeting with five participants each day, which is quite a lot, even back at home. Yet the design of this month is such that everyone can get coached in a reasonable time, and we'll hopefully find a smooth rhythm of work each day.

We are very lucky to have Patricia, the Nigerian Office Manager for One Sky, supporting us in the coaching meetings. She has been been involved throughout the training so far, so she knows each participant already. She will be present for meetings so that she can bridge any language or cultural gaps should they arise, and also so that she can learn about how Integral Coaching works as it is of great interest to her. James is considering how to best include her in a way that supports each participant's development, as well as her relationship with them. Intimacy here is based on familial values that James doesn't necessarily have in common, so it is important that we have Patricia here to help take these into account.

We've also been working with the space we have for the coaching meetings, which is a room in the back of the One Sky office. James is considering how to arrange the room in the best way for he and the participant to connect, and also for Patricia and I, who will be observing each meeting, to be included. He wanted to do this in a way that respects their sense of relationship, while also holding what we're here to accomplish. For example, because the worldview of many people here is such that they are working to develop a healthy relationship to authority, he considered whether he should sit behind a desk versus chair to chair as he usually would, so that they would feel more comfortable in understanding the roles. He chose to do it as usual. We rearranged things, then decorated the room with some random framed pictures of Canada that I found in my closet, as well as some curtains, and a tablecloth. It turned out quite lovely! We did get the lights working in the room, but are equipped with candles in case the power goes out during one of our evening sessions.

This evening we took a break from preparing to go out for dinner with our team. Mike, the Director of One Sky, arrived this morning, so we were happy to have him out with us. I am grateful to be able to spend time with Gail, Lisa, and Mike, as they have much to offer in sharing their experiences here and explaining things about Nigeria. Over dinner we discussed the weeks to come, things to be aware of in terms of cultural differences, and our deep inspiration in what we are working on here.

Back at the office James and I finished off the night's preparations by choosing music to play in the presentation, and writing the lyrics out on flip chart paper so we can show them to everyone. I am excited about the song choice, because the artist Sasha Rose is from the San Francisco bay area, and the song is a beautiful blend of both a personal and collective prayer for strength, integrity, and growth toward unity. For me there is something very touching about sharing local music from where I'm from with a message that is relevant here. For the next presentation we chose a song by Fela Kuti, a very famous Nigerian musician.

Now we are all ready for tomorrow, and I am quite excited and a bit nervous for the retreat to begin. I'll let you know how it goes!

Arrival in Nigeria

2009-11-21T22:00:00.000-08:00

Arriving in Lagos was significantly easier than I had expected. The plane ride was easy, and we had no problems in customs or immigration. We waited in the restaurant for Gail and Lisa from One Sky to meet us, spending about four hours over a couple of beverages. When they arrived, we found a taxi driver who seemed trustworthy to take us to exchange money and then to our hotel. So far the money exchange process has been the most bizarre experience I've had here.

We stuffed all of our luggage into his taxi, and we sped off into the night, down the dirt roads with no street lights or traffic signs. The traffic somehow manages to work in some form of organized chaos, as does the money exchange. We pulled off the dirt road into a parking lot, filled with crowds of people standing about, where people exchange money. It went smoothly, and even more surprisingly, the man gave us the first 15000 Naira without taking any of our money, then went off to get more, leaving us with his cash. We left unscathed with a fair exchange, peeling out of the parking lot. The taxi driver suddenly stepped on the accelerator, precariously passing a car with oncoming traffic not far ahead. He asked us if we knew why he did that, and said “for security.” I felt oddly calm through all this. We arrived at a nice hotel that had free wireless internet, and a restaurant for us to eat dinner in. Our first fish meal of many.

The following morning we went back to the regional airport for our flight to Calabar. We arrived at the new One Sky office in the early afternoon on Friday, and were greeted with a warm welcome from our team. Gail and Lisa already knew most of the people here, so they caught up with one another and introduced James and I. We were toured around the new space and given freshly cut watermelon and bananas. We are all very pleasantly surprised by our new home for the month. The office is a two story house, with the retreat space downstairs and our living quarters upstairs. Each of us has our own room, with a full size bed, windows in two directions, and plenty of space on the checkered floor for yoga. We also have a common space with a table, and a screened off balcony looking onto the yard and street.

It's continues to surprise me how noisy it is, considering the location. From the looks of it it seems like a residential street, yet across the street is an outdoor barbeque restaurant that plays loud beats all day, late into the night. Motorcycles are constantly driving by, creating one after another reverberating sound, and the cars are quite noisy as well. Dogs are barking, and I hear an occasional child crying, as well as birds and crickets chirping. It's a good thing I brought so many earplugs.

I am very happy that we arrived here in Calabar with a couple of days to acclimate and get into the swing of things before beginning with the leadership retreat on Monday. We have had some errands to do and some work to set up the office and prepare for the upcoming week, and we've also been able to go out and about and check out the city a bit.

Today's errands included the market, which was quite a successful adventure. The market is a huge maze of stalls set up under a tin roof, filled with household items, colorful fabrics, shoes, fruits, fishes, and everything we needed to find. We had a shopping list including pots and pans, candles for when electricity goes out, and a wash basin for when the water goes out. We had quite a successful shopping trip, bargaining with various vendors, and being called oibos (like gringos) by Nigerians as we walked by. People were friendly and seem to have a warm sense of respect for one another as well as for us. Though I wanted to take pictures of all of the beautiful colors and the gorgeous children carrying trays of fruits and other goods on their heads, I felt quite awkward doing so. Not as if I can hide the fact that I'm a tourist, yet didn't want to call additional attention to myself. So I snapped a few quick photos, asking permission from this child.

I actually feel quite comfortable here, and though we obviously stick out as the only white people, it doesn't feel like a big deal at all. It's much easier because there is not a language barrier, since everyone here speaks English quite well.

In fact being here feels quite normal. I am not sure if the fact that I am in Africa just hasn't caught up with me, or if it's just impossible to really comprehend the distance we traveled, or if it just really isn't as big of a difference as I thought it would be. When we got off the plane James pointed out the very different energetic in the people here, that it feels much lower in the body, much more grounded and rooted than in North America or other countries. The first two days I was very tired, so my senses were not as aware to pick up on this until today.

This morning after a full night's sleep I practiced yoga in my room. The air is thick and muggy, yet I don't feel it slows me down in the way other types of heat can. After becoming more grounded and open in my own body, I could quickly feel into what James was speaking about. I would describe it as a low, deep hum. Within the cacophony of sounds and the intense heat, I feel a sense of groundedness. I, like many westerners, tend to be more engaged in the top half of my body, and I can feel that being here is immediately bringing me down into more of my body in a very easy way.

This morning I was reminded that it is very important for me that I continue to practice yoga so that I can be physically open and flexible, which translates to me being able to take in and feel more and be more flexible in my ability to respond to all of the new things. I love the fact that all four of us here with One Sky – Lisa, Gail, James, and I, are practicing yoga and meditation each morning. It feels very supportive to be in a group where everyone is practicing, and it is also exciting to be part of a team that is so deeply engaged in this way, in their own growth and development as leaders. This will be very helpful for keeping our immune systems working well, and keeping our bodies healthy in general. Also, since this is something I do regularly at home as well, it feels very grounding and comforting to take this part of my routine into a new place. Even if nothing else in my whole day is like what I'm used to, my yoga practice will be there. I was able to find a relatively cheap travel yoga mat that folds up small in my backpack, which I am happy to have plenty of room for in my bedroom.

It feels good to have all these things in place so that tomorrow we can dive into our work. We'll be preparing for the coaching and the retreat tomorrow, and then begin on Monday.

On the way to Nigeria!

2009-11-18T19:03:00.000-08:00

James and I are sitting in the food court in the Atlanta airport, getting ourselves energetically ready for an eleven hour flight and then our arrival in Lagos. We received an email from Gail at One Sky instructing us to wait in the only restaurant in the Lagos airport until she and the others arrive. We'll then go together to a hotel, and continue on our way to Calabar the following day.

In considering our arrival in Lagos, safety has been a big topic of concern. Friends and family have warnings, especially for me being young and female. We are prepared to be very alert, and take all precautions to keep ourselves as safe as possible. I've been vacillating between excitement and trepidation. This morning I woke up way too early, thrilled at what lays ahead. After the past few days of preparations and more fears arising, I suddenly had a knowing that everything will be alright, and that though this journey will require much of me that I have never experienced, I'll meet that intensity and learn a great deal about myself and what I am capable of.

The past few days in LA we've been finishing off the last of the preparations - getting mosquito nets, buying vitamins, and starting our malaria pills - doxycycline. We've both been having some weird side effects from it, like achy muscles and sore throat, but agreed this is much better than malaria!

As we move into the next leg of our journey, we are discussing in greater depth my role in this project, and how I can best support James such that the participants receive truly enriching Integral Coaching programs. This will be an ongoing discovery in the moment to define how I can provide this, and I know that it will require me to be fully engaged with my heart, body, mind, and spirit.

For now, we are about to eat our last North American meal, and then get ready to board. Next report from Calabar. Cheers!

The Unknown, Fear, Love, and Development

2009-11-10T19:58:00.000-08:00

Nigeria is an infamously intense place. In the Bradts guidebook, it describes Nigeria as 'Africa for the very experienced.' Since I found out about this trip, it's been very interesting to notice all that goes on inside me, as well as in others' responses when they hear where I'm going.

Some of my friends are worried about me. I get that. And to the extent possible I feel I have weighed the risks. But I am following my instincts. There is something much larger that I feel more strongly, which is love for humanity and a desire that goes back as long as I can remember to more deeply identify with a larger, non-separate view on the world.

Indeed many aspects of this opportunity have been nearly entirely incomprehensible. When I went into the San Francisco Travel Clinic for my first of many shots - Yellow Fever, which is required for the Visa application - every fiber of my being squirmed. I don't have a framework in which Yellow Fever, Typhoid, or Malaria fit into life. It is so far removed from me, and on top of that it often seems more likely that someone will mention one of these dangers than something about the daily reality there.

Honestly I know I'm being idealistic, yet I am doing my best to be realistic as well, and this is what has gotten me to the point now where I can find out where the rubber meets the road. Through everything I have studied and worked towards, I have felt a strong need to ground it in my care for humanity beyond the small segment of the world who I am identified with.

Right now it's all very unknown to me. The land, the people, the languages, the ways of seeing the world, are all unknown. The extent of this unknown is way beyond my comprehension.

Yet from the beginning as I have been learning about Leading From Within, the participants, the country and it's kaleidoscope of culture, I have felt a real sense of intimacy and shared humanity that goes beyond the fact that it is all so unknown. I first read Gail Hochochka and Lisa Gibson's description of the program on the One Sky website, and then discovered the three minute video clips of each of the participants talking about his or her work as a leader. From such a far away place I felt their passion and dedication to their work, as well the respect that One Sky holds for them. I was moved to tears in seeing what Integral applied in this vastly different place can do - it can allow me, sitting in my apartment in California, to feel intimately connected to a place and people that are totally foreign to me.

More basically I'm getting to see where the rubber meets the road in my own development. I have continued to feel pleasantly surprised that my trust has grown beyond my fears - my trust in Spirit, my trust in Integral, and my trust in myself to follow my heart.

No doubt at times my fear may double and triple in size as I go into such unknown, yet I feel a profound gratitude and humility in seeing the change I have embodied. I reflect back to the time I wrote a paper in college on the brain drain in Africa, and see that what was once a concept, not necessarily something worth risking anything over - is now becoming a part of my heart... that what has changed in me in order to be willing to do this, is priceless.

Traveling to Calabar, Nigeria has already changed my life, and I haven’t even left yet.

2009-11-07T20:34:00.000-08:00

As I make final travel preparations for my journey in less than two weeks, I am amazed by how life altering it is to be granted the opportunity to participate in the work that is most meaningful to me.

It has been my dream to work with emerging leaders internationally, so I was thrilled to be offered the chance to travel to Nigeria to support the Integral Leadership Initiative called Leading from Within. This three year program is designed to build the quality of leadership needed to address the complex issues Nigeria faces by working with emerging NGO leaders – from within the country, and from within the wisdom of these individuals. For more information on the scope of Leading From Within, please see http://www.onesky.ca/projects/detail/leading_from_within/.

One element of this project is for each participant to work collaboratively with an Integral Coach® who will support him or her in developing the specific capacities they seek to become more effective leaders. James Baye is the lead coach who will be working with each participant to create a customized coaching program based on each person’s unique goals. I will be assisting James throughout this process, which will undoubtedly be extremely intense and rewarding.

As the time to leave draws nearer, it’s starting to feel more real, more a part of me. A couple of months back when I was first invited, I knew immediately that I wanted to go, because this is precisely the kind of opportunity to learn and to contribute that I have been working towards. I studied applied economics in college because I wanted to work in international development, yet found its focus too limited to the exterior, quantitative, material methods. Since then I have been studying and applying how to authentically generate development within individuals and cultures. This project integrates and goes beyond both of these views on developing sustainability. It includes both the conventional methods of working with economic security and environmental sustainability, as well as the interior elements of personal empowerment and social change.

Thus, this trip feels like a full circle that includes so much of what is most meaningful to me. I am most inspired by the ripple effects of Integral Coaching, as well as the depth of personal connections. I am so excited to simply experience and learn from the lives and stories of the participants, as well as from James’ skill and wisdom as a coach. I am happy to share this experience with you through this blog. Although electricity and internet aren't guaranteed, I'm going to try to post as frequently as possible so that I can share my personal experience and offer what I am learning about applying Integral Coaching in this international context. I really look forward to your feedback and to feel connected as I'm so far away!